78. Mmmmasticate.

28. Something that you miss

Something I miss… right this moment? Happy feet (not the film, my actual feet), and the Internet. Even though I know the Internet would just make me procrastinate. But right now, I’d like to procrastinate.

Thinking deeper, I miss not having to think of things like “I wonder if I ever WILL be able to make decent money out of doing what I like – art”, “Should I go for this job promotion? Will I prefer it to what I have now? It would let me stay here at Golant for longer (if I wanted to) since it’s a permanent position… surely that’s good?” (I really don’t know whether to go for the job or not, you see), “how much / which bits of my stuff should I get rid of one way or another when I leave Falmouth? Can I fit all the stuff I want to take to Reigate in the back of my van?” etc etc etc. THESE ARE GROWN-UP THOUGHTS. WHY AM I THINKING GROWN UP THOUGHTS. I’M ONLY…. 22. It appears, that that is grown up age. Bugger.
I miss having the Graphics crew group discussions at Epsom – whenever anyone in our 5 got a bit stuck with their work, we’d all give feedback sort o’ thing. I miss the ride in Racheyboi’s car to and from Epsom. And having our mad pancake extravaganzas. I miss the hamsters. I miss the times when I’d first found alcohol, and parties (especially those at Tanzee’s) were AMAZING, and always a greatly looked forwards to happening (Halloween, Christmas, and end of Summer). I miss playing marbles on the floor of shanty house, with Mr O’Shea, Lisa, and Lurkdink… even though it only happened once. I miss plenty of things! I miss my Norwegggg’s! I suspect they’re definitely back in Norweg land now. But yes, I may miss a lot, but the list of things I miss is only going to get longer the older I get, so I should concentrate on making the most out of the things I currently HAVE. Sometimes easier said than done.

My thoughts at 6am: “Who the f…..hell wakes up at 6am!!!” but really, it’s not so bad. Except for it was still DEFINITELY dark, that was my only problem – I’d had enough hours sleep, though. I just like to wake up in the light, s’all. Spent a few hours washing pots (the newbie’s job, or just because I don’t know what else needs doing and the job just needed doing?), and then mopped the floor and did some bed tidying and bin emptying. Finished at, lets say 11am. That’s already 5 hours of work. Again at 5pm! But it’s fine. I’m getting paid. And tomorrow I have a day off… I shall either:
-Drive to Falmouth to pick up my steel toe capped Doc Martens (hey, I could just take the train… probably cheaper?).

-Steal the internet all day, to update myself on things I need to do… basically do NOTHING…
-Go for an explore.
We’ll see. It depends on what my heels want to do. ACHE ACHE ACHE.
It’s raining today, on and off, but raining non the less.

I wonder if it’s legal to catch pheasants round here… pheasant fillets baked in wild garlic pesto?
Apart from saying that, I have no emotions currently to write anything else this moment.

Ah hah ha hah. Ben’s door croaks whenever it’s opened. And he’s talking to himself.