Wednesday, 26 January 2011

57. Died and went to heaven.

Hello and welcome to todays episode of 30 DAY MISSION!

8. A moment you felt most satisfied with your life.

Let me thiiink... it'd have to be at some point in 2nd or 3rd year of uni, before that I didn't feel free enough.
As my Aries zodiac thing rightfully said, I am happiest when I have some luuuurve in my life... so it'd probably be at some point when I was with Dan...? Maybe? They were some good times. But then I don't know...
I'm generally super SUPER happy when I'm at the forge, it seems. I dunno what it is, but I just feel content & nicely balanced.
And of course it's best when theres sunshine & warmth.
So some point in the summer.

NO! I know when it was.
GLASTONBURY.

Once I had found Molly, found out that she WASN'T going to kill me for going off with Dan, and before the misery of knowing that I'd have to leave the festival & all that behind in a few days.
We would bask in sunshine all day, dancing to our hearts delights before scuttling off to curl up like a couple of (not exactly small) cats in the shade for a while. Sitting about talking to the teepee people who I'd never met before, before wandering off hand in hand with that girl again. Rummaging through tat stores to find pretty items of clothing, being covered in glitter, seeing myself get browner & browner in the sun, before retreating to the circus tent to watch crazy acts whilst licking frozen pineapple & raspberry yoghurt. Sneaky little bits and bobs here and there, before making a public spectacle (well...) of ourselves in a sandpit in the middle of the night, under the stars. I hope those boys were happy. Parting at night, despite the invites to stay in the teepee, and then meeting up again the next morning with slight shyness incase I had just dreamt of all that had happened the night before.
At Glastonbury, I didn't worry about the outside world. I was in a fabulous fantasy world where the sun would never stop shining, the luuurve was everywhere.

I was utterly miserable the final night when I parted company from Molly. Glastonbury was over, and the next day I'd just have to pack up my stuff and retreat back to the real world, in search of a shower.

Blimey, wasn't that soppy.

56. Snap some sticks.

Todays subject:

Your Zodiac and if you think it fits your personality
.

I am an ARIES.
From this book that I am holding, which is my parents but I have stolen it ("Linda Goodman's Sun Signs" (1978). Going through it, here are the things I agree with (for myself... I COULD be wrong from anyone elses point of view?).

-Firm handclasp (sorry to anyone who's hand I've crushed).
-Mars people come straight to the point (I have been called blunt... a lot, sometimes...).
-Lung power and self-absorbed determination suffice beautifully to allow him to get his way (it seems that was the way when I was young).
-The well marked brows often join with the narrow (hmm.) bridge of the nose in forming the sign of the ram (SHUTUP ABOUT MY EYEBROW ISSUES).
-Broad shoulders (check).
-Walk with the body slightly bent forwards (check).
-Always in a great hurry (speed walking, yummy).
-Aries would rather be caught dead than caught weak (thats true, most of the time?!).
-Don't look for subtlety, tact or patience. He's a little short on patience (why wait when it can just be DONE?).
-Theres not much danger of an Aries getting addicted to drugs. Normally, the ram won't even take a sleeping pill (it is true, I try to NEVER throw back painkillers. Only when it's super bad).
-Because of his forceful optimism... (ok, I DO have my totally pessimistic moments, but I like to think they're rare. I NEVER want to be a total pessimist, like some people are. Always look on the bright side of life).

THIS LIST COULD GO ON, but I'm bored of reading the general Aries section of the book, what about the female Aries section...

-She can get along without a man easier than any female you'll ever meet; of course, getting along without a man is not the same as getting along without romance (too damn true!).
-Doing it herself is, to her, the fastest way to get it done (comes with impatience).

...you know, this is a very long book to read, and I've been reading stuff for my dissertation ALL DAY, and I'm tired, so I'm just going to go find something online.

From here...
Strengths Weaknesses
Adventurous (I do try to be)
Self-centered (Well... it helps?)
Energetic (Am happiest at this)
Short-tempered (I try not to be)
Courageous (When not alone?)
Impulsive (Depends what on...)
Confident (Depends...)
Impatient (Yes, well, we know that)

Symbol: The Ram (baaa!).
Ruling Planet: Mars (an alien, surely).
Quality: Cardinal (eh?).
Element: Fire (I'm kinda scared by it, unless it's DEFINATELY under control).
Basic Trait: I Am (what?).
Closest Metal: Iron (got a bit hanging round my neck?).
Lucky Day: Tuesday (Actually my least favourite day).
Lucky Colors: Blood Red and other bold colors (could be worse, could be pink).
Lucky Gems: Jasper and Ruby (not bad, not bad! Jasper is nice & sludgy).
Lucky Flowers: Geraniums (I REALLY don't like the smell).

ENOUGH, of all this.
In short, I tend to agree with many people have to say about Aries's, and how they're correct with me. However, there is also a fair chunk of stuff which is mentioned in it which I do NOT agree with - so surely it is set out so that people will always get SOMETHING right? If someone can "read" me properly, then I'd really love that - I find all that stuff very fascinating. And yes, I do love to hear people talking about me / praising me / etc. Me me me me me. Yusss. Even if I do get shy about it.
I can be very blunt, and I can have a monobrow / eyebrows which really REALLY do want to meet in the middle.

So there you have it. Wasn't that nice & vague?

Tuesday, 25 January 2011

55. I'm in a bee hive

30 day mission of the day:

Write 30 interesting facts about yourself


I'll try! Who knows whether they'll be interesting or not...

1. I have webbed feet like a duck / frog. Lisa recently found out that essentially that could mean I'm part Selkie, as the descendants of Selkie's often have webbed hands or feet.
For those of you who don't know what a Selkie is:
Selkie's are special white seals. Sometimes they come ashore, and remove their seal skin to reveal a rather beautiful woman; of course they can then put their skin back on and just back in the sea. However, if someone - often a fisherman or similar, comes along and finds the seal skin, then he can go to the woman "Har har, I've got yer skin! Corr, you're a beauty, y'er comin' with me!!" so she is forced to go and live with the fisherman in her human state.
Selkie wives (they often do become wives, sometimes out of being forced) are never terribly happy living permanently on land, except for the occasional few who are fine with it.
They'll often have children with the man who found the skin, and then one day the children or Selkie herself may find her old skin and when she does so she'll take it, climb back into it, and jump back into the sea. She will rarely ever return to the man who stole her skin.
Here's a song explaining it all, Lisa is trying to learn it (I think she's pretty much suceeded). It's rather good!
The Ballad of the White Seal Maid

2. My dad is the Treasurer of the YHA (Youth Hostelling Association, England & Wales). Though I have a feeling he's soon going for the Chairman position (I hope so, but we'll see...). I guess that would only be interesting if you're into YHAing, even then I guess it might not be... but agh well. I am, since I've been YHAing for my entire life, and stayed at the majority of them in England & Wales (and many hostels in Scotland, Ireland, Iceland, Canada, Switzerland, Denmark, Italy, and France). The Treasurer is the money counting / handling man, mostly. A bit like an accountant from what I can tell.

3. I used to get gold medals for front crawl (swimming) and sometimes even for breaststroke and backstroke. I'm not quite so great at breaststroke because I have a screw kick, my old best friend Becca Jones often beat me at breaststroke. But I was front crawl champion! Even though I used to panic big time when on the diving blocks. I gave up racing when I turned into too much of a grumpy teenager. It is a shame... I wonder what my front crawl is like now, it's not so easy to practise it in the sea.
I also got to almost blue belt (so was still on green belt) in Jui Jutsu, but beat a 6 dan black belt in a sparring match.
AND I got a fair few certificates & badges in trampolining, my mum decided to make me stop when I started doing backwards somersaults.

4. I can pretty easily shoot a round of bullseyes / close enough with a rifle. I started shooting rifles (and other guns) when in Army Cadets, and then continued in Explorer Scouts. I'm not so good with other guns though, and have bad aim with a bow & arrow (could never be Robin Hood!). I always shot the arrows too hard, and they would disappear off beyond the target.

5. I once got really rather bad pneumonia in the middle of a heatwave in summer. We were on a family holiday with Becca Jones' family too, and I had been complaining as my throat hurt like hell, it was hard to breathe and eat, and my temperature was all over the place. Eventually my mum took me to the Swanage cottage hospital, and the doctor made me take my top off (I was NOT amused). He said that it was extremely good that I had to to him then, as otherwise I'd have to be taken to the big hospital. I had to have super gacky medicine 3 times a day (it tasted like old banana, mint, and chunder all in the same mouthful) and lay wrapped up in many layers, shivvering at the back of the wind shelter on the beach whilst everyone else basked in the hot sunshine & leapt in the sea. But I'm alive now, so thats good.

6. I'm willing to try any food (as long as it's MEANT to be edible / not concocted from objects which knowingly don't go together). If it was legal / I wouldn't get told off for doing so in any way or form, I reckon I'd try human (though not too much. Don't want to get any more mad that I am already). There are few things out there which I have tried which I DON'T like, and anything which I don't much like I want to eat again, it'd be good to be totally non-fussy.

7. I have stood on a volcano which was due to errupt. My shoes smelt like they were going to melt (they were, a bit). It still hasn't errupted (it's in Iceland - it wasn't the BIG one). Volcanoes are great (until they hurt someone). Lava is the best thing to watch EVERRR.

8. How interesting do these facts have to be? Lets try a few simple ones... My favourite colour is GREEN. At some point in my life, I think it was pink. But I don't remember that time much, so I'm presuming it wasn't very long. Thankfully my parents don't like pink, so I didn't wear any (until I turned into a grungy goth when I was 14ish... then I wore BRIGHT pink every so often. With black. Natually). Of course my favourite colour when I was 14 or so was black, as I didn't like to wear any other colours... but if we're to go by the "black isn't a colour" rule, then my favourite colour was red / purple. Purple is still good... as is rusty / bricky / natural red... infact ALL natural "sludgy" colours are good. Mustardy / yellow ochrey yellow, moss, pine, khaki, sea green... anything which isn't super bright. I wouldn't say I have a least favourite colour any more... maybe this is because I'm an art student?! Of course theres still colours which just SHOULDN'T be put with each other - like orange & grey. Oh Easyjet, what WERE you thinking...

9. I have 12 holes pierced in me in total. Essentially 13, but that was my OLD nose piercing (it went a tad nasty, so I removed it & got the other side done). 4 in each lobe - on my left side the bottom one is stretched to 10mm, and the 2nd bottom one to 2mm. On my right side the bottom one is also 10mm, then I have my conch done, scaffolding. And of course my nose. I'd like my nipples pierced, but thats maybe not a good idea as I'd probably not heal too well.

10. I can do me many arts & crafts. Of course I can draw, paint to a certain extent, and such (otherwise I'd be a pretty odd illustrator), but I can also make stuff like toys from no pattern, and clothes, and and and... and anything I put my mind to, I hope! Learnt properlyish how to crochet not so long ago... thats the current obsession. I love it all. So satisfying to MAKE stuff, screw buying cards when you can make em.

11. My first ever album was "Best Party in the World EVER 1998". It was a double tape compilation thing, and I got it for that Christmas as my mum had found out that I liked Chumbawumba's "Tubthumping" (my old friend Lucy showed it to me, when we were visiting Ironbridge YHA - they had a juke box). That is when I found music properly, and after that I kept stealing my dad's CD's - mostly Meatloaf & Blondie. Mum bought me / in general a "70's blockbusters" CD, so THEN I got addicted to listening to The Animals, too, and along with that Ian Dury & the Blockheads. Then I think my mum thought "hmm, perhaps I should get her some music which is actually FASHIONABLE with people her age..." so for Christmas 1999 she bought me Steps "Steptacular" album. I listened to it a bit, but all my parents stuff was still better. The next Christmas I got Steps "Buzz" and thought it was crap. The first "hip and cool" song I ever heard, whilst knowing it was "in" was Wheatus - Teenage Dirtbag. It was AMAZING. It made me want to wear baggy jeans & t-shirt for ever. I then slowly went into the pit of grungy gothy music & buying Kerrang mag every week (Metal Hammer every month). From listening to everything in those magazines, as well as all the old stuff I listened to before (making sure to permanently adopt my dads Black Sabbath CD, and drool over his blood red edition of Meatloafs "Bat Out of Hell" vinyl) I went more and more into weird hippy / folk music due to my mate Matt sending me a Jethro Tull song (one of their 1980's ones, I was very into dark 80's music like The Cure - who Matt rather disagrees with, so he shoved me in another direction). Jethro Tull happened in the middle of college, then for a while I went onto a CRAZY mix of music when I went to art college (add Beastie Boys & Pantera to the mix, along with random tracks like Dolly Parton's "Jolene", and "chavvy" songs like "Black & Gold" and all that weird crap (I blame Racheyboi! When you listen to things like that SOOO much in the car to college, it sticks).
Now I'm back to folk, classic rock, and a general groovy mix of gooood stuff (Jamiraquai, Ozric Tentacles, Bonobo, Funkedelic).

12. For a few years I played drums. I took lessons, learnt how to play a few things, and even bought myself a lovely turquoise coloured drum kit. Sadly, my mum made me sell it... but I guess if I ever have the money / space / time / friendly neighbours one day, then I might get one again. Now I only have 1 drum (bodhran!) which Silje, Vera, Faye, and Dan got me for my birthday last year. I really need to play it more. But I need a BIG kick up the arse to do so... and some more confidence.

13. I've had 4 hamsters... though ESSENTIALLY 1 of them was sort of Elk's, but they turn into house hamsters. House hamsters in more than 1 way! Our hamsters have always been "free range" and so not restricted to cages. Sometimes we'd lock them in their cages at night, and then open it's doors again in the morning, but in the end we just decided to leave their cage doors open all the time. We'd let them wander free (not back breaking plastic balls!) around parts of the house, and they'd even sometimes go for walks around the back garden. I got Wedgy for my 15th birthday from Jess & M, I chose her, but pretended she was none of my idea as my mum didn't want me to have a hamster. Her name is named after wedgying someone - grabbing their pants & pulling UP. I got Moony a bit less than half? a year after Wedgy - Wedgy died by getting squashed to death under my bed whilst I was at Jui Jutsu. Moony was the only brown & white hamster and was really rather fluffy (the other 3 were more sleek, and all ginger & white). Moony was named after the act of Mooning - showing off your bum. She died after a couple of years or so, with old age we suspect (maybe cancer). After Moony came Lawry - named after my girlfriend of the time, Jenny Lawrence. I got her in 1st year of college just as I'd heard that Jenny had got into Brit School. Lawry died of diabetes a couple of years later. Finally was Scrumpy (named after Scrumpy Jack cider!). Scrumpy was essentially Elk's, but not really. Scrumpy died just after X-mas in my 1st year of uni, she died of wet tail. I'd like a hamster again, some day one day. Once I can look after it with as much freedom as the rest had.

14. For a while in 2nd year college / art college, I tried to be FASHIONABLE. Thankfully I failed. Fashionable is boring, though that doesn't mean I wouldn't buy something which is in fashion. I'd rather wear whatever the hell I like, but with a slight nod towards fashion (it's hard not to...). When I was young I remember I was always SO excited when I got to wear my nice dresses (at Christmas and such), but most of the time I just wore what I was told, which I seem to remember was purple & green striped "Troll" leggings, and such. That soon moved on to my pirate / Swallows and Amazongs obsession, so I'd wear jeans, my black walking boots (or wellies), and my red and navy striped t-shirt with a red bandana. A Christmas near then I got to choose my "nice" dress for myself, as I needed a new one, so I chose a gorgeous navy blue velvet dress with a Peter Pan collar & waist sash. Wearing that as it was only lasted for part of the morning of Christmas however, as my mums old best friend Heather had bought me a black t-shirt with a skull & crossbones on the front - ULTIMATE KIDDY PIRATE. So I put that on over my dress. I still have that t-shirt, infact it's in with my t-shirts & such here. I still wear it from time to time... the black is now more grey, and there are HUGE holes in the armpits (a mix of me growing, and me sweating, I think). I also got a skull & crossbones headscarf, so I constantly seemed to look like a scruffy pirate (I seem to remember my jeans got holes in them). In year 5, my teacher Mr Harmer said "don't be a pirate for mufty day!" (wear your own clothes day). But I ignored him, as I THINK he was only joking, and I dressed like a pirate anyway. I was so cool.
In year 6 I became a little bit noticing of fashion, as everyone else seemed to be wearing stuff which I wasn't, so I got some dungarees (denim, with flowers round the legs) from a charity shop, and wore clothes like that, and grew out my fringe, and held it to the side with a clip (I got a LOT of hair clips). Going into secondary school was scary... bullying happened more, and so I TRIED to fit in more (thankfully, uniforms...). But then I saw my neighbour Thomas wearing a t-shirt. "The Offspring - Conspiracy of One" t-shirt. I fell in love with it, tried drawing the design over & over again, wore my pirate t-shirt again as it was the nearest thing I had, and eventually went and bought one exactly the same (along with the album - the first CD / album I EVER bought). Roll on wearing Converse skate shoes, crazily baggy trousers, and a massive Offspring t-shirt. Spikes & rather more revealing clothes crept in along with my first pair of Doc Marten's (black boots, for school too). Mini red & black kilt skirts, slashed open Punky Fish vests, a black beanie with flames on it, fishnet tights... I even briefly ventured into THONGS, but soon enough I found that they're uncomfortable objects, so stuck to good old BLACK pants (they had to be black). This style stuck for a while, then slowly dipped into rainbow coloured hats, tie dye tops, floaty skirts, PURPLE Doc Martens, skinny jeans, black v-neck jumpers, bright colours... then of course that went into the afore mentioned "fashionable" area.
After fashionable came "wearing whatever I like, which I've got" - generally colours had to match, or have a limited colour palette. That was end of art college / 1st year uni.
I've slowly narrowed my wardrobe down, noticed what colours I like & suit, and reminded myself that I can't buy all the clothes in the world as a) I'm not that rich, and b) they won't fit in my van. So I'm now at earthy colours, and "hippy gypsy folk farmer tramp".

15. Incase you haven't read by now, I HAVE A VAN which I have called Hector. A Fiat Schudo diesel 1.9L, 3 seats at the front, white. He's less than a week old to me currently, and once I've finished my dissertation I'm thinking of putting weekends aside to turn him into a lean, mean (ok, neither lean or mean) BEDROOM machine! I'll have a bed to fit 2 people - though not quite a double (always useful), a fold down desk / area to cook at with a 2 hob gas stove, under bed storage space, wall storage space for arty stuff, and of course the walls & ceiling will be painted (maybe like a forest with a starry night sky). It'd be good to hook up a light to a battery in there, I'll need to look into that. I had my first driving lesson in mid-late June, then passed my driving test first time at the beginning of September (faster than many, it seems?).

16. I love sorting stuff into some sort of order. Random things on peoples window sills can be lined up in size order, or even just equally spaced. Books WILL be put into height order (I'm ignoring the ones in our living room, they'd just keep changing). Sorting paper into colour / type is fun. Putting all my Pro-Markers into colour order... then drawing small lined from them all on my sheet of desk paper, and writing their names down next to them. My computer files are VERY organised - my dyslexic woman was super surprised at that. I am not totally happy unless things are nice, neat, and orderly. This does NOT mean they can not be cozy!! Minimalism - yeurgh.

17. I have never knowingly burped. Once in first or second year of uni I thought I did, but I didn't. I find burps really rather disgusting, apart from when they're REALLY FUNNY. I guess all my excess gas just comes out else where... heh heh. I do do some rather strange one off hickups, though?

18. I luuuurve to cook. Cooking for others is brilliant, food when eaten with someone else is so much better. I love to get complimented for my cooking, and see people happy that they got fed. I really got into cooking when I started working at Sussex Stationers... I had an interest in food BEFORE that, but S.S. was part bookshop so I'd look through all the cook books (and buy some). I used to only work from recipes, but now I tend to use recipes as a base and work on them, or go just by what I think might go (trial and error!). I think I'm pretty good at cooking, since folks tend to like it the majority of the time (even if I can be critical).
This doesn't, however, mean that I never want to be cooked for again. Being cooked for and not feeling guilty for not doing anything is such a wonderful feeling... I refound that the other day when Lisa & I got back from the forge, and Squidget had cooked supper (Stickmeat, swede/carrot mash, boiled peeled potatoes, melted butter, meat juices). Then again, stickmeat IS possibly one of my favourite foods... I almost cried with happiness I think.

19. I have a slight addiciton to stroking / feeling things. When I was younger I was always told "Look! Don't touch!" when in shops, but you just HAVE to get the feel of things. Especially silky things, or velvety, or funky textures... (remember those books for kids which have the random textures stuck in for you to touch? I still like those NOW). From when I was a baby I had a baby blue blanket with ribbons on either end. Some point at childminders another child ripped it in half, it then gradually got worn down from me dragging it about, and then I was just left with the 2 ribbons. I had a way of making them slide through my fingers like a snake, and always did so. Eventually they both went missing, whether by accident or someone intentionally took them away from me (I have my suspicions about how a FEW things have gone missing!). For a few years I didn't really stroke anything except for a small grey cat toy mouse (it's nose was silky feeling, I called him Sooty), then I got a Beanie Baby called Runner who's tail I'd stroke, and sometimes his head. But THEN, I got another Beanie Baby in 2001 - Smart the owl. To this day he lives in my bed (or my study......) with his owl friend Smarter and has his wings stroked, because they're oh so lovely and silky (some say greasy - my mum doesn't like him). I've recently found that a little patch of suede on the green handwarmer things I made is very strokeable with my right hand thumb.

20. My favourite food is... well actually, I can't pick just the one, as I'm BESOTTED with food. So you can have 3 from various corners of food:
-Breakfasts: eggy bread, Crunchy Nut branflakes with s.s. milk, potato cakes & smokey bacon fried in slightly salted butter.
-Savoury: Norwegian stick meat, Cornish pasties (no FAKE ones!!!), Lamb Pasanda curry.
-Pudding: Mum's nutmeggy rice pudding, mum's spongy lemon pudding, mum's (stolen from Bendy) lemon cream on gingernut biscuit base tart.
-Starters: Prawn cocktail, cream of tomato soup with basil and seedy buttered bread, very buttery very garlicy garlic bread.
-Sweet stuff: yoghurt coated banana chips (NOT from Julian Barrett), Toblerone (original sort), thick milk chocolate coated Brazil nuts.
-Misc: Microwave melted cheese sandwiches, egg custard tarts, mozarella (the more solid stuff. Straight off the block).
I COULD KEEP ON LISTING, but I shan't.

21. Times I have been in pain, for something which wasn't REALLY my fault. I'm guessing I was in pain when I split my head open (near my eye) on the coffee when I was really young. But it can't have been TOO bad, as I never got taken to hospital to have it stitched up (theres still a scar). When I twisted my ankle on dewey grass on a little slope at the end of a summer holiday in Cornwall / Pembrokshire. One of Matt Jones' friends drop kicking me in the crotch off of Bendy's bed in their old house. Having a glass fall on my face at Becca's - I had been doing a shoulder stand, and it landed right over my nose, making a cut which bled a LOT. Got a scar from that, too. Silje throwing a heavy metal bottle opener at my face (drunken accident...) - it hit my nose and hurt INSANELY MUCH even though I was really rather drunk (I got revenge, she let me. I gave her one HELL of a bruise on her arm). ETC ETC ETC.

22. 10 items of clothing I could not live without (well, I could really, but that is NOT the point). My long rusty red vest top, very scruffy dark dusty blue corduroy skinny jeans, brown Doc Marten "Ellie" boots, charcoal leggings, brown light brown & off white Icelandic jumper, brown and slightly blue littleish dress, red & brown hat Rarr made me, khaki thick army socks, red lumberjack shirt, moss green handwarmers wot I did make! Well, THAT was hard! I could wear all that at the same time & be relatively toasty. However, I don't think I'll stay limited to just those 10 items...

23. I'm dyslexic. Though how interesting is that really? I've never really liked academic subjects - except for small sections of things in different areas (volcanoes in Geography, bits of the 1960's hippy movement in History, etc). At some point in secondary school I got tested for dyscalcular stuff, and they went "yep, you're dyscalcular" and then did nothing more about it. I ignored all that stuff until at the end of 2nd year at uni, I was having an essay crit thing with Mike and Pam (who had marked my essay) turned round and said "I do like your essay, but by any chance are you dyslexic?". I then went and got properly tested & all, and was found out NOT to be dyscalcular, but dyslexic. Which was great, really. I now don't feel like a bit of a thick shit, and I got loads of free stuff (YAAAY!). I think I write rather well for a dyslexic sort - some people have it soooo bad that their spelling & grammar is all over the place... but I reckon I'm not too awful.

24. I have had 5 "real" boyfriends in my life. Matt Ainsworth (year 9), Mike Measures (year 10), Red Saunders (year 11), Iain Hamilton (lower 6th), and Dan O'Shea (2nd year uni).
Matt has not really moved from where he has always been, and is in a band called Trevors Head... he has long blonde curlyish hair, and looks a bit like a hobbit with a belly who wears funky band t-shirts and the occasional bit of tie dye; apart from Dan, I speak to him the most.
Mike is also sort of where he's always been, he's got some sort of job (office?) and still likes to party and get drunk and play paintball. He still has short spikey blonde hair, and looks like an average human being. I never talk to Mike, unless I bump into him when I'm in Reigate.
Red is possibly now in uni again... otherwise he's also where he's always been. He started at uni, but the course wasn't for him (not the right sort of model making) so he quit. He is no doubt still wrestling, and dressing up in mad clothes. I'm guessing his hair is still long (of shoulder length, depending on how he felt like cutting it) and colourful in part. I phone him about once a year, and we have a brief catch up.
Iain is now living in London I think, possibly with his girlfriend (who seems like good fun, I hope her sense of humour is the same as his, as that is good). His hair has got even longer and is either black or dark brown and curly/wavy. He still seems to have a rather fit body, and still wears black black and more black. He graduated from Cambridge uni last year. Clever boy. Once every so often we natter to each other on and off for a while, but the rest of the time we're just there.
Dan is now mostly living in Wales, though sometimes Hereford. He is still blacksmithing, still barrel shaped, though now has far less hair on his head than when we were together. He still loves folky music and playing his mandola, and most likely still has grubby little fingers :)

25. I love maps. Marking walking routes on maps, looking where things lead, reading them... it's all good. UNTIL... I can't work out where I am. That is when I have a bit of a grump & a spaz (as Silje has seen before, when we were walking about the Peak District). But if I know where I am, I'm happy. Perhaps it's due to being dragged up mountains (not that I'm complaining now) and the like all my life, and wanting to know exactly how many hills / miles left to go (mum always lied, as if that'd make it better!!). Or maybe it's because my dad has a CRAZY HUGE collection of OS maps which fill a pretty big decent sized bookcase. Or maybe it's because I always crave to be out in nature & such... but due to the fact I'm always drawing / typing / procrastinating, I rarely am sometimes. Or maybe a mixture of everything.

26. 10 things I really dislike are people who litter / drop fagbutts etc. The smell of cleaning chemicals. Loose hairs, especially bundles of them. Things not being returned to where they should be. People not respecting the lovely neat & tidiness of communal areas, I don't like to wallow in other peoples crap. Excessive wasting use of resources - leaving taps on / dripping, using too much bogroll for what is needed, filling a bowl of washing up water, only to wash a couple of items and then leave it... all that sort of thing. Slow moving people filling up the entire safe walking space... I don't like having to walk slowly. My toes going through holes in my socks. Pants which constantly wedgy me. Vandals.

27. I have PROPER SCOTTISH BLOOD in me. It's tartan & all. My mum's mum was a McMillan (Jean McMillan, who married cow hearder Rod(erick?) Leavett). McMillan being a biiig clan. My mum (she seems to be appearing a lot in this) looked up loads of the family a few years back, she wanted to find EVERYTHING, I wonder how far she got.

28. I'm not terribly bothered by germs. Of course theres all the normal baby pictures of me eating dirt (everyone has one, it seems), but then theres other things - I don't use soap to wash my hands most of the time (IF I wash my hands), food which has fallen on the floor? Sure, why not. Give it a quick look over, remove any dust, cook / eat it. I suppose there are limits to that (if it was too close to dog crap, I wouldn't be too happy) but I've always been like it. Why waste food! At primary school at the end of lunch & break times I would go round the place picking up dropped crisps & eating then, as long as they weren't too crushed up. Maybe this was because I was never allowed crisps (Frusli / Crunchy bars or fruit ONLY) or maybe it was because I'm a scavanger and don't like to waste. I don't get ill more than other people, infact it's possible that my immune system is actually better. Germs are good for you, in moderation!! Stop with all the everything killing chemicals already... (that does NOT mean it is good to live in a slovenly mess).

29. I like to hoard stuff. I think this is a family (mums side) trait, however I have stopped hoarding quite so much now that I've moved out of home. When I moved out I had to give EVERYTHING a proper sort through, and have got way more nice & neat & organised. But what happens if I one day need this colour / shape scrap of paper? Or these sketchbooks which have a few blank pages left in them... CLOTHES!! I will have to get rid of much. When my mums mum died, her house got sorted out. There was SO much bogroll, and lots of tinned / dried food too - some of which was so old that it had gone solid & black & the tin was rusty.

30. I'm a bit like a cat. I can happily sleep / snooze off anywhere which is warm / comfy enough (that is NOT resricted to beds & sofas). I will be SOOO happy if you stroke me nicely (as long as it's not awkward). I love being tickled under the chin. Stretching out in bed / on the floor / wherever DOES include stretching arms AND legs out - above and below. And other such cat like things.

FINALLY. This thing is done. It was tricky to rack my brains for, well, more suitable things. *grin* (if I'd ignored the suitable, then there would be some iiiinteresting things shown to the world).

Monday, 24 January 2011

54. Knock on the door.

Aaaand todays (rather cheery) 30 day challenge subject IS:

A time you thought about ending your own life
.

Jolly good.
Hmm.
I don't really know what to say, except for I am definately still alive, so I have not killed myself.
I've never REALLY tried to kill myself, at all... probably because I'm a bit of a chicken, and the thought of putting myself in danger doesn't really appeal (neither do roller coasters, I think the 2 are linked in).
I've had super low times, when it feels like the world has to end or I do, and it seems that there is no way to go through with life... but they tend to wear away over a few days, I go through an apathetic stage, and then I'm back to normal. Those WERE more when I was living at home, probably a moody hormonal teenage sort of thing, but still.
I've self harmed, never to an extreme state really... it's a bit of a release. As long as you keep those things so they don't affect other people, and don't threaten your own life, then it's fine. Some people turn to drugs, some to shopping, some to pain. We've all got our little ways. These days I tend to stick to attempting to channel anger into something else, or just trying to stay calm. I was recently thinking about starting to practise meditation (of sorts) for a while, but I'm not sure how well I'd be able to do it, as I might get impatient. I certainly got impatient with Pilates.

So yes, to keep you all calm, I currently doubt I'll ever commit suicide. I've been worried about friends mentioning it before, and feeling powerless to do anything (thankfully they didn't carry it forwards), and I've seen how suicides of people can bugger up others, even if I didn't know the dead person in person, just by name.

I DO however, believe in Euthanasia. If you really want to die, for decent reasons only (you're too ill to recover, too old to help yourself).
But thats another story.

Right... back to trying to work.

Sunday, 23 January 2011

53. I'm up a tree.

Day 4 (written at crazy hours of the morning, I've been drinking whiskey & coke at 5 Degrees Below, and before that wine with Lisa & Rarr & Squidget with STICK MEAT. Ohhh... I literally almost cried I was in such food heaven. And I didn't have to cook a single THING! Wonderful!

YOUR VIEWS ON RELIGION.

Right, I hope I can write this accurately as I can safely say I have drunk half (bit less) of a bottle of red wine, half (ish) of a bottle of white wine, a little rose wine, and 2 whiskey and coke's. Not too much, but... enough to make me down some water when I got home, and now stay up a bit longer (even though I'm KNACKERED) to sober up, and so I'll write this.

Ok, NOW I'll write this. I fell asleep. It is now 2:05pm on Sunday.
And now it' 7pm, Sunday. I procrastinated, and then fell asleep on Silje's bed.

I don't really know what to write about religion... I've been brought up being NON RELIGIOUS and thinking that the songs we sung in assembly which were all a bit "God God God" were silly. Except for "Lord of the Dance" which I luuurve.
I never liked R.E., especially not in secondary school as I felt that my R.E. teacher / head of year didn't like me due to my rather bold "there is no God" opinions.
My dad was brought up religious (Christian), but from what I can tell he doesn't believe (the rest of his family, and the other side of that family still do). My mum says she liked to sometimes go to church for the singing, but otherwise she says that she doesn't know if there is anything "up there", I suppose it IS a mystery.
But for now, I'll remain non-believing, it's my choice to do so.
For more of the whole Christian beliefs bit / Jehovah's Witnesses, go to a few blog posts ago, where I had a conversation with 2 Jehovah's who came to my door.

Other religions... lets see. I went through a short time period of wanting to be all Wicca / Pagan or something, looked up about the altars & such, how different things mean... different things... but I suppose there has to be a bit of belief in there too. It'd be nice to believe in a magical realm, but I just always think of things like "no, it's a trick of light".
On that note, GHOSTS...
When clearing out my grannys house, my mum had a few run in's / spooky moments with what could possibly have been my grannys ghost... so I don't know what to think about that, really.

But for now, until I find something which REALLY takes my interest (when I have time for it to be interesting / time worthy) I shall remain as I am, a non-believer.

Friday, 21 January 2011

52. Kiss a kangaroo

Task 3 of the 30 day challenge. I'm doing it a little early (but it's still the next day, or at least here on ENGLISH time it is! My blog seems to be set to crazy / American time...).

Your views on drugs and alcohol.

WEEEELLL. What can I say? I've just finished off a bottle of red wine with Lisa in an evening, and thats NOTHING... admittedly I've calmed down a LOT alcohol wise since I was, say, 17 (Imy & I used to go swimming in the morning, swim half a mile in half an hour, then go back to hers, eat lunch, contemplate life a bit, go to the offy with her sisters I.D., buy vodka, get back to hers, start drinking, have supper maybe, keep drinking whilst listening to one HELL of a lot of cheesy pop (never really listened to cheesy pop before then, we just listened to all the old classics, it seemed, somehow, RIGHT). We'd get through a bottle or so each (the larger of the square bottles). At parties of mine I'd drink even more.
And of course I drank lots in freshers fortnight 2 years back, and continued that drinking through chunks of 1st year, but it died out... now I feel rather civilised with my drinking. Perhaps I've been put off a bit because I know my liver is a tad fried, and it isn't THAT rare for me to get a two day hangover. I won't feel too great the day after drinking a bottle of wine, or more than 3 pints without having some water. Sorry liver, but for my birthday I think I'll be sharing my 18 pint box of Skinners (preferably Heligan Honey) with Silje, Vera, and Lisa... (is Vera is still up for joining in with it, despite it's fishyness... but it's freeeee?). Thats 4.5 pints each. Could be worse. Plus I'm craving that Q-Bar Mohito for after dissertation still. AND alcohol is a MUST for cooking! You really can't have a perfect spag bog without red wine, creamy mushroom pasta without a slosh of white, fish pie without sherry...
And drugs... well, I couldn't really say that I've never taken drugs. I don't like putting chemicals into my body, I even try to put off taking pain killers unless the pain is REALLY bad. I have friends who take them and in one case I think they're throwing their money down the drug drain (it's got a bit too far, sometimes, in my opinion) but in the end it's their life. All I can say is everything in moderation, if at all, and don't touch shit like heroin or crack. Those 2 are the ones which creep me out big time, hollow cheeked zombies...
Did you know that they're contemplating making weed legal, for a few reasons, a couple being to try lower the drugs crime rate (to make buying the stuff safer), and another is so that the government can make lots of money from it. I can imagine it WOULD make lots of money... and I can also imagine that the registered selling places (pharmacys?) would probably sell good stuff, rather than a random mix of the real deal and basil or something.

So there you have it. I don't really have much to say on the matter, I just wish people wouldn't ruin themselves with the stuff.

51. Don't suck your thumb.

30 day challenge, part 2.


Where would you like to be in 10 years.

Well, isn't that a tricky thing to write about... I'm pretty sure the majority of people who're soon to finish uni are going "ARGH WHAT AM I GOING TO DO!!!".
Given that when I leave uni, I'm HOPEFULLY going to work for the YHA for a few months, and then, if I'm still up for it, will go and do Adventure International activity centre stuff for a few months after that... but that still only takes me up to November(ish) 2012! After that? Essentially I could go work for the YHA some more, and then when AI season comes around I'll go there again, etc etc etc...
But that isn't totally what I want to do.
Of course I'd like to continue with le art, it'd be superb if I could find myself an agent (or at least for the YHA time, AI wouldn't have enough time to fit it in). Failing that I suppose I could be a freelance / private arty sort. And I'd like to return to WWOOFing farm Culdees, up in Scotland. On the splendid shores of lovely Loch Tay... to have some freedom away from the money world for a while. Now that I've got a van I feel much more free, though at the same time, far less free - it's a bit like having a child (not that I'd REALLY know). Expensive things to look after, especially when they get ill.

When I leave uni I REFUSE to "run back to mummy and daddy". Of course I know it's not reeeeally like that, with everyone - some people don't see any other option, but for me, I've left home. It is no longer my home, my room is... well it's still my room, but it's not. It's a guest room now, sort of. Whenever I return there, even in the holidays, I don't feel like myself. I get lazy, and grouchy, and too childish for my liking. I feel like a silly little teenager again. Not get up and go.
I don't want to return to that.
And anyway, it has no sea / large body of water, and is FAR too close to London. Ahhhh Surrey...
I will NOT live in a big city. I think the only exception, or one of the only exceptions, would be somewhere like Edinburgh. But that is super pricey.

So where WOULD I like to be?
Right now, my perfect situation to be in in 10 years... I'd live in a cozy (but not cramped) dwelling (warm & dry) somewhere relatively rural - NEAR THE SEA (Cornwall would do nicely). I will NOT be living on my own, whether I'll be living with dwelling sharers (of my picking, or of a decent and great to live with variety), or with some sort of loverrr; I can not live alone. We have already established that. I must live with someone, possibly for my own sanity!
The dwelling would hopefully not be too close to areas of loud transport noise (airport, main roads, train tracks), however it shouldn't be too hard to get to a small town or village.
Between me and my other living sorts, we earn enough money to stay comfortable. I can't imagine ever being "crazy rich", or even approaching slightly wealthy, but so long as I can still pay bills, patch things up when they need patching, and still have some spare for luxuriating every so often, it'd be great.
In my fantasy life I'd love to have a horse (or 2, so many 1 each, to keep each other company) to ride, and a cat or 2 to curl up on my lap. A hamster would be laaaaavly too, though may not get on so well with the cat(s). And I'd have to really patch up the living space, to make sure it didn't escape outside into the great wide world (to those who know me, you'll know I believe in "free range hamsters", left to roam wild round the house, though having a careful eye on them to make sure they don't chew the place to death, and to be taken on the occasional walk in fresh air).
But of course I know that animals are expensive to look after, and I'd have to have some land for the horses (thats fine. I'd like land).
On the mention of land I'd love to have a wild garden. Not all over grown and bramble tangled, but just natural. I'm not overly great at gardening, so the lower maintenence the better. So long as I've got an apple tree, any other fruit trees, herb garden, and vegetable patch / green house (and a shed) I'm happy. Under the trees there would be strung up a hammock, somewhere else there would be a hidey hole den of some sort - tree house? Small log cabin? Perhaps even have a teepee. Wouldn't it be nice to have a small pond, for frogs? And a trampoline! I miss having a trampoline. For my PERFECT bouncing device, I'd have it sunk into the ground, so it was not a bright blue glowing object sitting in the middle of the place.
Inside the house would be decorated to a strange style of perfection. My kitchen would have to be a fully equipped one - as much as I'd like an aga I'm not really THAT sure on how to use them, so a normal oven & hob would do (as long as they function perfectly) (though an aga WOULD be super duper groovy, especially for the cats to snooze on).
The living area would be cozy, and big enough to have a small gathering in (so not just the 1 sofa, preferably). Open fire / log burner to roast marshmallows on.
But I could go on and on and on about how I'd like my home to be, and that isn't the point, so I'll stop that now.
Of course I'd have a fabulous selection of friends pretty close to hand.

Failing that fairy tale, I reckon I'd be fine working for the YHA still. They have a great bunch of hostels in super locations, always have people coming and going, and the pay isn't half bad, since you often get accomodation thrown in too!!

We'll see, we'll see. I really don't know, currently, so I shall just dream.

Do NOT mention children.

What about the next 10 days?
What am I doing in those? Currently keeping me in a straight line for the present is more important than winding a long tale about the future.

Today I am in uni, writing this, then attacking my dissertation some more. I want to get it finished early, perhaps I mentioned that yesturday. At 11:15 I have a group crit, I hope it won't take too long! I don't have much to show, just some number 6's (see below) and my currently unfinished Anne of Green Gables project. It is the first project I have not really finished on time, but that is because I've been doing dissertation work this week instead (so I'm not really too worried, it seems to be more finished than not, so thats good).


Tomorrow myself, Silje & Lisa are having STICKMEAT DAY. We shall let it cook throughout the day (much to Rarr's disgust), and eat it in the evening, maybe we'll dress up a little nice? I hope my swede is ok (to make swede mash) as it's been in the fridge since before x-mas (that fateful x-mas meal). I suppose for the rest of the day I should yet again do dissertation... or maybe take my van out for a quick speedy visit into the country (to get some fuel!!).

Sunday eve I'm meant to be off to Umut's place, I've never seen it! We used to hang out together LOADS in first year, or at least loads in the first half... we don't so much any more, if ever. I think it's because he likes to go out & party and get drunk, where as I... well, I like to hang round with smelly blacksmiths in their forges, and sit around listening / singing folk music (with old men!!!), or wander about the mud in the countryside. But he (Umut) paid me a little visit the other day, as we decided we definately needed a catch up (with some Strongbow, for old times sake. Eek).

Monday, I have a suspicion that I'll be a tad worse for wear after the Strongbow. Nothing is planned yet, so I should just GET ON WITH MY DISSERTATION.

Tuesday is BURNS NIGHT. And dissertation in the day time. I have bought a haggis, and need to acquire a turnip / similar, so I can eat it all proper Scottish loike (with Silje, if she wishes to share my haggis).

Wednesday is apparently Australia day, according to my Alfred Wainwright 2011 diary. Should I pay any notice of this, to make the day fun? We'll see, we'll see. More dissertation... urggggh.

Thursday is YET AGAIN more dissertation, and then in the evening a few of Peoples String Foundation (I'm guessing Luke, Ben, maybe Harry?) are playing at Q-Bar. I think that means that Luke won't be doing open mic at The Front that night... we'll see what I get up to. I could do with a Q-Bar visit, they have scrummy Mohito's (at a not so scrummy price). But... I should do MORE DISSERTATION.

Friday is currently blank. Blanky blanky blank. I think I'll be avoiding group crit this day, due to not having done any work apart from DISSERTATION, so... I'll do more of that D thing this day.

Saturday. A BREAK FROM THE D THING! (yep, it's been demoted in it's word). I'm off to Holwell Bay with BTCV (Jennie will be there too, says Claire! ^^). I think it's a vegetation / footpatch clearing day, but could also be a beach sweep, or anything, really.

Sunday. Guess what. D.

So... that was what I wish to do with my next 10 years, and what I shall be doing for my next 10 days.

And now, I shall get on with THE DREADED D. But before that, here, have an image:

Thats a gawwwwwjus Puffin by Johnathon Woodward. I am jealous of his SKILLZZZ.
Ciao for now, until tomorrow.