79. I'll have it in pine...

29. Goals for the next 30 days

-Get my illustrated book image finished to a level that I am happy with.
-Get at least 2 projects done for uni.
-Do not watch that TV unless it’s just to be sociable!
-Sort stuff for a car boot sale.

-Start thinking about finding agents to see in London.

-Get on with putting a fabulous portfolio together.

-Get the van bed finished.

I know they aren’t exactly AMAZING goals, but… I just need to get some stuff sorted at the moment. Nothing much just for me, it’s just for my life. Self pampering can come later. Perhaps in June. Definitely in June.

Arrrgh… I now know why I don’t watch TV; the real reason is because we don’t have one, the OTHER reason is because I’ve just watched the TV here at Golant for maybe… two hours? I don’t even know WHY I was watching it, all the programmes were scheisse and it made my eyes go funny. But the day is not entirely wasted, no! Not at all! I had a lie in and so my alarm went off at 9am and I got out of bed a few minutes later, then did some arty farty stuff (“coloured in” a pictcharr), and then Ben and Rachel came back from morning shift & we had a brief natter & Rachel gave me some post which I’m GUESSING was from my dad via Amazon, as it was an OS walking map of this area (I HAD asked for one to be sent, but not a brand new one!!). But yes, I decided that even though the day was a tad grey, and a little moist, I’d go for a walk into Golant village. Off I went along the drive, coming to the footpath and walking through a field which has longish grass which rustled in the wind, and birds (skylarks?) twittering above my head. On I went and walked past a field in which I looked into and 2 pigs came running up to the fence to great me, oink oinky snuffle grunt. Nice and nice, looked those piggies. Shame they were behind 2 barbed wire fences and a bit of hedge – apparently that farmer is paranoid about foot and mouth. Walked past a dead rabbit (on my way back I walked past it again, and it’s guts had been torn open & it’s eyes pecked out). There were some cows with new calves in the field, one teeny calf was propping itself up in a corner. Went briefly into the churchyard on top of the hill, then walked down the hill. Wandered through the village, it’s quite pretty, and onwards over the china clay works railway to by the river. Here I ate my lunch of a tine of sardines in spring water, and a chocolate brownie. Pondered life a little, then walked back up the hill (puffing a bit, it’s steep!!) and went back to the church as I wanted to look in it, and last time there had been other people. Looked in, it was drizzling at this point, and looked through the visitor book to see if any folks from places I knew had visited. The organ player came in and I talked to her for a while, friendly woman, said that the hostel is in the perfect location. I left the church and sat under a tree in the churchyard, eating an apple and being rained on whilst listening to birds tweeting and the wind blowing. It felt good; mysteriously good for someone who is getting soggier by the minute. Continued walking back “home” (went the say way as I came, contemplated making a circle walk but felt a little lazy), on the way I looked in the pig field again and there were 2 male pheasants chasing each other – when they saw me they stopped, and walked slowly about for a while, ignoring each other, then when I hid a bit they chased each other again! Gay lovers? Embarrassed by their squabbles? Who knows! Home, then went into hostel to check e-mails and talk to Paul.
I asked 3 questions:
-How do I get the global gossip internet thing? He doesn’t have a clue, suggested asking Ben… I hope he knows. Internet is getting more important, sort of.

-The catering manager job… do I have a chance? He said that it’d be better if I applied for another up coming position… duty manager! BASICALLY, assistant manager. Siobhan is leaving, so the position will be opening. I’m more qualified for that, too. Sounds important! I’ve e-mailed Chris Long (YHA jobs chap) about it. Eee! Ohh… it’s scary, and a little daunting, but… what’s to lose?
-Cake illustrations… would he like them now. He’s got ‘em now, and we sorted out a couple of other things too. Friendly chap indeed.
For supper I made up a batch of veggie Thai green curry, that’ll last me for a few days, since it looked like it’ll be super busy for the weekend (the wedding going on, and all).

Whoops, I appear to have piddled someone off by applying for this new job… even though they have had exactly as equal chance to apply themselves? It’s a strange, frustrating world sometimes.

78. Mmmmasticate.

28. Something that you miss

Something I miss… right this moment? Happy feet (not the film, my actual feet), and the Internet. Even though I know the Internet would just make me procrastinate. But right now, I’d like to procrastinate.

Thinking deeper, I miss not having to think of things like “I wonder if I ever WILL be able to make decent money out of doing what I like – art”, “Should I go for this job promotion? Will I prefer it to what I have now? It would let me stay here at Golant for longer (if I wanted to) since it’s a permanent position… surely that’s good?” (I really don’t know whether to go for the job or not, you see), “how much / which bits of my stuff should I get rid of one way or another when I leave Falmouth? Can I fit all the stuff I want to take to Reigate in the back of my van?” etc etc etc. THESE ARE GROWN-UP THOUGHTS. WHY AM I THINKING GROWN UP THOUGHTS. I’M ONLY…. 22. It appears, that that is grown up age. Bugger.
I miss having the Graphics crew group discussions at Epsom – whenever anyone in our 5 got a bit stuck with their work, we’d all give feedback sort o’ thing. I miss the ride in Racheyboi’s car to and from Epsom. And having our mad pancake extravaganzas. I miss the hamsters. I miss the times when I’d first found alcohol, and parties (especially those at Tanzee’s) were AMAZING, and always a greatly looked forwards to happening (Halloween, Christmas, and end of Summer). I miss playing marbles on the floor of shanty house, with Mr O’Shea, Lisa, and Lurkdink… even though it only happened once. I miss plenty of things! I miss my Norwegggg’s! I suspect they’re definitely back in Norweg land now. But yes, I may miss a lot, but the list of things I miss is only going to get longer the older I get, so I should concentrate on making the most out of the things I currently HAVE. Sometimes easier said than done.

My thoughts at 6am: “Who the f…..hell wakes up at 6am!!!” but really, it’s not so bad. Except for it was still DEFINITELY dark, that was my only problem – I’d had enough hours sleep, though. I just like to wake up in the light, s’all. Spent a few hours washing pots (the newbie’s job, or just because I don’t know what else needs doing and the job just needed doing?), and then mopped the floor and did some bed tidying and bin emptying. Finished at, lets say 11am. That’s already 5 hours of work. Again at 5pm! But it’s fine. I’m getting paid. And tomorrow I have a day off… I shall either:
-Drive to Falmouth to pick up my steel toe capped Doc Martens (hey, I could just take the train… probably cheaper?).

-Steal the internet all day, to update myself on things I need to do… basically do NOTHING…
-Go for an explore.
We’ll see. It depends on what my heels want to do. ACHE ACHE ACHE.
It’s raining today, on and off, but raining non the less.

I wonder if it’s legal to catch pheasants round here… pheasant fillets baked in wild garlic pesto?
Apart from saying that, I have no emotions currently to write anything else this moment.

Ah hah ha hah. Ben’s door croaks whenever it’s opened. And he’s talking to himself.

77. A slice of melon

27. A problem that you have had

Problem? What sort of problem? I have a habit of stressing out a bit too much when things aren’t going exactly my way (lost my way on a map, and can’t find the way? OHHHH NOOO!). That is always a problem.
I’ve had problems with bullying, as in, I’ve been bullied, and had a problem with it. As it sucks. But I reckon we’ve spoken about that before… and I don’t currently fancy going into it.

A problem with cheese sandwiches… the sort where you sandwich a great amount of cheese between 2 slices of bread, and microwave it until cheese is melted. I used to eat at least one every day when I came home from school. No wonder I got chubby.

I now have problems with hangovers, as I killed my liver it seems from drinking a lot of vodka in the “good old days”. When bad, those hangovers can be of the 2 day variety… so I try not to drink so much these days.

I like to put things in order – size, height, colour… is that a problem? Some would say so. I don’t agree with them.

Lets stop with these problems.

Good morning, waking up at 7am… got 5ish minutes until I have to leave to go in for 7:30, so I’ll type a bit of this.
Last night in the kitchen was really good, we had an American party of 22 folks in, 2 wanted macaroni cheese (instead of what we normally serve which is cauliflower & broccoli pasta bake). So I said I’d make that, used a base of “béchamel sauce” which is weird shit, it’s basically a pre-made white sauce (as I said with the pre-made stuff…) but I got to add my own touch to it – milk to thin it out a bit, nutmeg, cayenne pepper, black pepper, and cheddar. Paul said it tasted WELL GOOD (not in those words).
ALSO… there is a catering manager job going here. I’m half tempted to see if I’d be able to get it, as it’d be excellent just to work in the kitchen… sure I’d have to do loads of paperwork too, but once I got all that organised I’d be sorted. I think I’ll ask when I go in, as both my parents said (or something like this) “you’ve (I’ve) nothing to lose”. Agreed.

Good afternoon, it is now 2:30pm and I am sitting on my (actually quite comfy) bed, listening to Planet Rock! Sadly it’s a song by U2, but… I’m sure something good will come on soon. And drinking my version of chai latte. Basically, a mug of milk (microwaved) with a little boiled water and the chai teabag. It doesn’t seem to NOT work, but would possibly work better if I put the teabag in the boiled water for a while, then added lots of hot milk.

And I thought that being in for 7:30 (wake up at 7am) was early… tomorrow… in for 6:30. UP AT 6AM. Well, perhaps it’ll get me into good habits. I’d love to be a hardcore morning person.

I asked about the catering manager job and got some print off stuff, it looks good enough but I’m wondering if I’d REALLY be able to do it. It’d also put my salary up to £14,000 - £16,000 a year… (extra £2-4,000).
The American group staying here are ok, for breakfast of course we were serving all sorts of breakfast, and when it came to the cooked stuff they were like “oh, can I have, err, like two pieces of ham, and some hash?”. ARR HARR HARR. For a start, it’s BACON. Not ham. And they’re hash browns… otherwise it just sounds a little odd. But I guess each to their own…
9:55pm. My god. My feet ache. I’ve been on them 5pm until now, but not really walking about – just washing up. It’s the newest persons job, I suppose, when everything else is all go. I did get to finish making the couscous though (well, y’know, add the herbs and weird salty stuff and hot water and couscous to the already seasoned by Paul raisins & beans etc). So yes. Much washing up. And guess what? I’m now home, and soon to DEFINITELY go to sleep as I am up at 6. I’ve already said that. MY FEEEEEEEET! This isn’t REALLY a whinge, I know what this job is… it’s just my first day of foot ache, s’all. For the I have a feeling that I get the day off on Thursday though?? We’ll see.
One thing I did find out today: dancing ridiculously in the kitchen when your feet ache ACTUALLY REALLY HELPS. For a moment or 10. Not long, but it raises the spirits and is amusing when hugely tall people (Ben) join in.
Also find out that Paul shouts something like “YEEEAHHHHHH!” when Alice Cooper songs come on on Planet Rock (yep, on in the kitchen!). But that’s not surprising since Alice Cooper is his ULTIMATE favourite. ULTIMATE.
I can’t believe I’m going to sleep at 10pm. Why do these American’s insist on leaving the hostel by 7:30am latest…
Sitting in bed starkers here, I see I have a slight belly. That must go. I guess that may not be so hard, since my supper consisted of 1 half full mug of chocolate custard, a few (4?) sneaked chunks of sausage, a little bit (like, less than a cupcake by far) of chocolate cake, some tomato, and some apple. Actually that’s a fair amount of crap. But yes. That was all I ate for supper. Interesting, eh? At Exeter we used to have supper breaks (though not for long, but still at a decent supper eating time. When you get in at 9:45pmish and need to go to bed straight away pretty much, it’s not a good time to eat supper.
Note to self: BUY A TORCH. Went to walk back to the cottage with my food box, and thought I’d be fine! But no. It was utterly pitch black. So I had to sit about for a little time until someone (Siobhan in the end) came along also going that way, and she had vague light.
And now, I shall reply to a text messaaage, and then SLEEP. I’m glad I had a longish power nap earlier.
Good night.

76. Pile some bricks

26. What kind of person attracts you

Totally shallow wise, and thinking of “corr yeeeah, sexy!” attraction, and also part based on who I’ve rather enjoyed so far, I’d say:
-For girls they’d have long (well, long enough) brown hair, relatively dark brown hair. Say no lighter than milk chocolate. Brown eyes are quite nice, though really any colour is fine… strong minded and outgoing, not all skin and bones – gotta have some curvation going on there. Height doesn’t seem to matter too much, so long as they aren’t dramatically taller or shorter than me.

-Guys? The majority have so far had hair on the lighter side of things, milk chocolate darkest! Blondish. Again with the majority, they’ve all been roughly my height or a smidgen shorter

I’ll stick to that girls summary, it still sounds good. Though guys?
Taller than me would be nice… surfer guy build! Or similar. If I’m allowed to be totally picky, then not too much body hair, and their actual hair should be quite long and flopsome. Beards are fine, I like a bit of scruffiness there… but if it’s any longer than 1cm then I’ll be lifting MANY eyebrows. On the mention of eyebrows, MONOBROWS ARE FORBIDDEN. As are eyebrows which are so minimal in the hair department, that they may as well just not be eyebrows. Of course noses, lips, teeth, number of limbs (no more than 4), and tastes in music, food, and hobbies are important too.

In general, a person should be open minded to pretty much everything, nice and outdoorsy, and not grossed out by the fact that I FART, pick my nose, and occasionally (yes… ok…) talk about subjects such as bowel movements at the supper table. Smelling like something died, or a giant fog of artificial scent is NOT GOOD IN THA’ HOOD.

Golant.

GOOD AFTERNOON, dear people… today is Monday 28^th March, my first day working at Golant YHA. Had to be in the kitchen for 8am, didn’t do much – not many breakfasts needed doing and Siobhan did most stuff, I just learnt where things lived & what needed doing. It is quite a different kitchen to Exeter – for a start there are deep fat fryers and more stuff is done from pre-made frozen stuff (the majority of puddings in Exeter were made there, then frozen where as the stuff here is bought in frozen… though it seems the manager Paul wants to get a cupcake/muffin business into it all to make more money for the place, so they’ll all be handmade. Rachel seems to be perfecting a carrot cake recipe, and I reckon if given the chance I’ll use my poppy seed with cranberry & cream cheese invention.
Did a bit of cleaning, too… delightful. And then I was too busy to write about the rest of this day.

P.S. I had a dream about sniffing a rat. A lot. It smelt good… like that young hamster smell before they smell of piddle.

75. I went for a drive.

25. Someone who fascinates you and why

Fascinates me… I dunno, lots of people are interesting! Each in their own way. Some more than others, of course, but when you watch them for long enough you’ll always find something. Little things they do… rubbing their feet together when warm and comfy? Opera singing in the bathroom (I always like to think it’s on the toilet, for extra amusement)? The way someone walks, why do their hands have a semi-spasm every time they swing backwards? Everyone is interesting!

I may possibly have that bad habit of staring at people when they really catch my eye, but don’t we all? Maybe. I wish it was polite to stare. I’m not staring because of that horn growing out of your head, ok so maybe I am… but it’s INTERESTING. Why is it there? It’s not freaky at all, s’all fine. I can’t exactly call you a freak since my feet aren’t exactly the most normal feet ever… we’ve all got oddities.

I don’t take much notice of famous folks. Janis Joplin was interesting, though.

Yeah… not much to say about this one.

Ahh… so, now I’ve had a night here at Golant. I need to definitely remember to bring my own bed sheet for next time, forgot how the YHA standard bedding doesn’t fit “normal” beds (just midget bunk beds).
Slept well, it was so gloriously dark and silent! At some point I had a dream that something was happening, something something something, and then something smashed in my face – perhaps thinking back to the other nights exploding rocks / wood on the beach fire? ANYWAY, that sort of woke me up, and then I thought that at the same time something very close to me had sounded like it had banged so maybe they were linked.
But then I stayed awake a little while as it was 5:30am and it was SOOOO GOOOD because the morning chorus was in full whack! There was still a night owl hooting (sounded like a tawny) but every single bird outside had joined in chirping and tweeting, and the pheasants were still doing there thing… and it was ever so slightly lighter, but very very misty (it’s still a bit misty in the river area currently – it was VERY misty when I got out of bed half an hour ago) (9:30).

Today is another sunny day. I should really get out and go for a walk or something, but I kinda want to sit in and paint. I’m here for 3 weeks, so it’s not as if I’m never going to have spare time, right? Plus I don’t have a map. I’d like to have an OS walking map (the orange ones) for this area. In fact I’d like to have all the orange maps to cover Cornwall (not literally). I wouldn’t be so needing if I had the interwebs… that way I could get the maps off of OS online (just the little bits I needed) or check them out on Google Earth. Hum dum.

Hello 2:35pm. I am just back from my wanderings – yes, I did go wandering in the end, without a map. I found the route out of the YHA the back way as some young childrenish sorts carrying large backpacks came from that direction, which was handy. Had a brief look round the YHA grounds though and found that they have CHICKENS. I dunno if they’re the YHA’s or someone else’s, but there were chickens and such. And badger sets… but I know there are badgers here.

Walked out and the sun was shining, went through a little wood which was just FULL of wild garlic (on the way back home I picked a decent little handful, may have it for supper later with a tin of sardines perhaps… I hope the large stash in the wood stays alive for a while, it’d be nice to have continuous slightly garlicky tasting free salad. Walked on through the wood, then sat on a fence to look at the view, then kept walking. The footpath wasn’t exactly clear, couldn’t work out if I’d just walked into a private field of not… but then saw a church & walked towards it. I then got worried, as it looked like I may have to walk through a farmyard (and when you don’t have a map to say whether there is a public footpath through it or not, it’s WORRYING, mostly because I don’t like barking dogs running at me). So I turned back, and got moo’d at by a cow (there were a few in the field, with a bull & calf too).
Decided to go down the other side of the field instead, but when I heard a tractor start up & still wasn’t sure if I was on the footpath or not I headed pronto down the hill hoping there was a stile or gate at the bottom. There was not. Instead, there was a barbed wire fence with brambles & nettles. But me being me, and not being overly fond of tractors tearing down on me (they weren’t) decided to climb through the fence anyway. Then safely into another place (a tangly bit of woodland / dead area) I thought I may as well climb into the other field which I knew was attached to where I had come from… so to get into THAT field I climbed over more barbed wire past a broken rusty gate, over a tree. Then instead of going the way I knew I could go, I walked along the other field boundary which joined onto a wood. After a while of walking along here in the sun (I thought I was quite nice and camouflaged wearing brown boots, dark green jeans, and a yellow floral vest top with a green velvet ribbon in my hair), I noticed that the barbed wire between the wood & field looked easy to climb through, even if it meant going yet further away from my original place. So I went through it and got lightly molested by some spindly branches of a tree which decided they REALLY wanted to touch me and not let go. Through the wood I went – in a little while it’s going to be gorgeously full with bluebells – and crunch crunch crunch over dead leaves. I soon enough stumbled upon a path, so walked on that as it seemed a bit more proper, and for me less likely to get shot (not that farmers / land owners seem to do that anymore. Bit out of fashion to have human skins hanging above your fire place). I followed this path, and it lead through the wood near to the estuary / river / MUD. Soon enough I found some double steps (like ones for mounting a horse) taking me over a wire fence, so I went over & skipped across a random railway line (don’t think it’s a main line, in fact I seem to remember reading some place that it doesn’t work or is only used in certain circumstances or something? WHO KNOWS. I went over it, and then hopped onto the beach / dry bit right next to the river. After watching the water for a bit I ate a little bit of malt loaf and drew a small picture and tracked back in my steps back onto the path.
Continuing to follow the path I eventually came out of the wood into a field, which I soon recognised to be that which is below the hostel! So through the field I went – making sure to stop and lie down in the middle of it for a brief snooze – and eventually got back here.
Lubly jubly.
The sun is now umming and arring as to whether it is coming out of staying behind a misty cloud.

“Sexy Ways” by Funkadelic reminds me of Glastonbury. Just sayin’.

74. Here's some more.

24. Your favourite movie and what its about

Favourite movie… I’m not sure what my favourite movie IS… I love Rocky Horror, it’s amusing, I can sing along to it whether I’m drunk or sober, it’s fun to dress up to (even if I think I look terrible in some items… others say otherwise, but… self confidence!!). But then, it doesn’t leave me wanting anything, except for to prance about some more and party some more like a mad beast.

I like The Dreamers. It’s a bit (ok… very) sexy, I mean – EVA GREEN. Something about that woman. But yes… it’s set in interesting times, they have fun – yes they resort to eating bad food (never a good thing in my books) and then never really go and see any greenery as they’re often staying in the house (another bad thing… says she who’s stayed in her room all day!). It’s just sensual.
What else… JUNO! It somehow makes pregnancy look FINE AND OK, even though to me it’s not. It’s lovely and quirky and makes you giggle but also plays on the other side of your emotions. I like the “alternativeness” of it, I like that she makes a living room on a lawn, and that she chunders blue stuff into a vase, etc etc etc. Little amusing things.

Pirates of the Caribbean. Enough said. But I’ll say a bit more anyway. Yes, I’ve watched the first one a few too many times now… I start to think “oh FFS you supposedly evil people, we all know you’re not evil, and Will and Jack – you’re meant to be making out. Have you NEVER read ‘The Pirate Way’?” but the romantic aspect of pirates… even though pirates really are NOT romantic… but Jack Sparrow… ignore the fact he’s probably got multiple STD’s, his teeth are definitely a tad rotten which leads (amongst other things) to bad breath and whatnot, and he no doubt smells a wee bit pongy… however even with all his madness he is one attractive character!
On the mention of Johnny Depp characters… CHOCOLAT. It’s dreamy and arty and Johnny plays one hell of a scrumptious chap. AND there’s chocolate in many forms. And river “pirates” aka some variety of gypsy!
This little list can go on… BUT IT SHANT.

I really can’t choose favourites.
Romantic or amusing (or both) costume dramas set in time before too modern technology… good scenery… things which carry you into a perfectly grinnable place.
I don’t want horror, or too much sci-fi, or anything overly modern, or ridiculous action films with someone who can turn into an alien… none of that. I will stick to stereotypically girly films. Hell, I even like chick flicks. Easy watching, easy giggles, often AWFUL but also often cheap to buy. Pink and fluffy and squee worthy is what I want… even if it leaves me feeling alas, a tad soppy afterwards.
Yes, so despite my prejudices against every other sort of film I still have seen other things – once my stubbornness or boredom gave in (films I didn’t want to watch: Simpsons Movie, Wall-E etc… even though I’m now not quite so adverse to animated stuff, I’d still rather watch the real deal – real humans).

My new workmate (I’m now at Golant YHA) Ben says I can watch his collection of DVD’s which are downstairs. Doesn’t sound bad, since I don’t have internet here (except for any I can sneak off of the reception computer when I’m down there… I’ll try post these when doing that. Carry around my memory stick, sort of thing.

BUT YES… Golant. It is currently 27^th March, whether this is posted on that day or not, and I arrived here at 12:15pm after an hours drive from Falmouth. My TomTom (first time I used it!) only got me lost once, it didn’t tell me which way to go, see, at a crossroads… the drive felt shorter than expected, the long driveway down to Golant YHA itself is… well… I thought the track to Lisa’s forge was bad – it’s NOTHING compared to this. Sure the ground level itself seems more even, however the POTHOLES… they appear out of nowhere and are mahooooosive, but not so massive that you can just pop down into them then eventually pop up again. No. They’re like the road biting chunks out of your vehicle every time you don’t manage to swerve round one (need to learn the pattern of swervation).

My room is mostly nice, if I get this same room from July onwards I’m sure it’ll be even nicer. It’s got a window which faces out over to the river/estuary/mud beds and everything, enough storage room, the bed feels comfy so far, got my own sink… though I could do with a couple of extra plug sockets on the other side of the room (though maybe it’s a good thing to have to get OUT of bed to off my alarm clock). I also need to acquire a desk (will bring my desk from Reigate>Falmouth when I next come, I hope it fits perfectly in the window space. And I need to get me a light bulb (the long tube sort) for the light above my sink or for my desk area (desk currently is a chest of drawers so I’m not allowed any knees). And internet. As I mentioned before. May have to get a dongle thing…

And I miss my Norwegian sandwich and such. Already. I KNOW I’ll be back in 3 weeks… but I still miss them.

On the definite plus side, the side of the room is good, and as I said – the view is definitely good. It makes a change from car park / roads. There isn’t a single millimetre of concrete or tarmac in sight, the only manmade objects I can see are 3 washing helicopter twirly whirly drier things, and if I look left a small greenhouse & 2 small sheds & wooden garden furniture, and right I can see co-workers parked vehicles. But that’s fine. All I could hear earlier was the sound of a couple of distant barking dogs, and birds. NOTHING ELSE. I stuck my head out an hour ago (at 9pm) and all I could hear was a pheasant (can hear lots round here – YUM!!!). And it was dark. And not just “ahh yes, it’s night time, the street lights are on though” dark. DARK. I could see a couple of lights on the other side of the river (I think there’s a little marina or something there) and then if I looked towards the big house (the actual YHA mansion) there were a couple of lights on in windows, but they did nothing to taint the blackness of the night. Not entirely black… more of a dark blue as it’s a clear night, and I could see lots of stars.
I’m tempted to go to bed soon so I can wake up at crazy o’ clock (say… 6am?) just BECAUSE. I don’t have internet to distract me.

I wish I had someone to share this semi-wilderness with me. I’m sure I’ll get to know the rest of the folks here sooner or later, though. I hope so.

I wonder if I can get away with sleeping starkers / just in pants here… I’m sure I can… it’s not as if anyone is gonna come in, right? People are surely more likely to come into my room in Fal, and I sleep nekkid there!!

73. There is a fly on my knee.

30 day challenge!
Post pictures of 5 famous men (what about women?) who you find attractive!

How... mature!! Heh heh.
Well, here goes.

Devendera Banhart.
He's a relatively recent find, I had seen images of him before but thought he just looked a bit... posery? But now I've heard his music, it helps, you know... nice and chilled. Plus he is a suitably scruffy looking arty sort of chap.
Eva Green. HELLOOO. Yes, I'm fully aware she isn't male. But... well. First found her via the moooovie The Dreamers, she's got a brilliant face, and such. And a lovely way of acting women with crazy sides. I think I like my girls with darker rather than lighter hair.
Johnny Depp. Yes I know... stereotypical like for a female... but he does look most marvellous. Especially in Chocolat, and he's just pure BRILLIANCE in Pirates of the Caribbean. I don't care if this is a very normal like. It's GOOD.
Ozzy Osbourne. BUT ONLY IN AND AROUND THE 1970'S. Before it all went wrong, really. He still looks delicious at this age. And of course now he's just an utter nutter of an old man... but he's brilliant. Ahhhh yes. I remember when I was... say... 12/13? At my birthday party. Us girls were saying what famous people we "fancied" and by that point I had somehow only found young images of Ozzy, so I said Ozzy. The others found this hilarious, I wasn't really totally sure why since I didn't really know how old he was...
Richard Armitage. And his fancy towards being in costume dramas. YES!!! Found him via Robin Hood (which everyone watched in 1st year halls), and then Silje & I went on an Armitage binge & found out about North & South (MY GODDDD) and other such tasties. Of course they aren't all as good as the rest, but non the less... now that nose is one thing I wouldn't mind having poked in my eye.

72. Whoop de doo.

22 / 30 day challenge!
How have you changed in the past 2 years...

I am currently sitting in the living room of my (shared with 3 other funny little illustration students) house. Listening to Lykke Li, and looking at the new batch of bunting stuff I put up yesturday for the 1965-1975 party (it's green and red and orange and stars and moons and other moons and more moons... the moons have all been drawn on).

This time exactly 2 years ago I was soon to go to Norway for the first time, I was living in uni halls (Glasney parc) sharing with 6 other people... I wouldn't say I didn't get on with them, I just wasn't really on the same wavelength. I still talk to Jen occasionally though, and sometimes the others whenever I see them in town. I mostly spoke only to Silje & Vera, though also at that time to Jen & Loz & a little bit a few other people.
I had a nose stud which didn't want to heal (then again, this one doesn't either - STILL - but it's better than that one!).
I didn't really know where I was going with anything, or anyone, and around about this time we were soon to go on our first "sunny hot day out of the year" to Swanpool beach and jump in the sea, to soon find out that our balls & such shrunk up inside our bodies because it was so cold (even though we didn't HAVE balls, it felt like it. PAINFUL).
Flying to Norway with Silje & Vera was the first time I had been on a plane without any parents, and on the way back it was the first time I ever went on a plane ALONE.
Sometimes
My clothing style was pretty odd, and I wore mostly EVERY colour, in odd ways.

This time a year ago I was in a sea shanty band. We practised every week and did some gigs (a year before I would NEVER have thought of going on any sort of stage to sing, alone or with others!!). Through the shanty band I met some good folks, including the 2 blacksmiths one of whom I would now have been in a "real" relationship sort of thing (that all still sounds very... grown up??) for a few little months. Forge warming party, never thought I would have known blacksmiths / a forge the year before... it had seemed I was destined to a life of only knowing illustrators / graphic students the year before...
We also had a 1950's party, and Verarr did my hair up all proper, and I looked female for once. I even wore heels.
Was still doing BTCV stuff every so often, and so due to the fact I was in a shanty band / knew dirty scruffy smelly lovely blacksmiths Dan and Lisa, my clothing choice seemed to either be scruffbag in a "lesbian shirt" or shanty wench in floor length skirts.
In a coupleish of weeks Silje & I would be off to hike round the Peak District.
Walking almost exactly a mile across town was a very regular occurance, and vice versa - I miss that walk a bit. I liked to stop to take a breath half way up "shanty hill" and stare out across the water to Flushing, and "the best field"; whether it was light or dark that view was always delicious to me. I suppose I started doing things more on my own, and with Dan a lot.

And now, this year. I'm single, annoyed and lonely at being so at this current space in time, and currently a little hungover from the party yesturday.
The living room is a lot more homely than it was a year ago... though I'm starting to think about slowly moving things together, ready to move some stuff out in May, more stuff in June at some point... it's worrying thinking that I'm soon to graduate uni. This time 2 years ago it didn't even occur. I didn't even think about it! I'd only really just started uni. Time has sped past.
Clothing style? Mostly earthy colours in mostly natural fabrics... I buy far less clothes, try to fix things when possible (though it gets a bit dull).
I like crochet, I only learnt that within this past little while, I don't drink so much in general - going out to the pub usually means 2 pints MAXIMUM unless it's a "special" event.
I seem to have found some sort of style for illustration, I get on well with the majority of the tutors.
I've been spending more and more time with Lisa, though not so much recently as she's been busy. I still stick mostly to my Norwegian sandwich of Silje & Vera though. Squidget & Rarr. I shall miss them muchly, it's TERRIFYING that this time in a week I will be in phase one of my new life at Golant YHA (out of education). Of course I'll be back to uni after the holidays, but... I would have tried Golant out, as it were.
I had a good spoon with Rarr earlier, and a nice sleepover with Squidget last night (and a mucho giggle, in the living room tent, in the evening). I hope they return to the UK at some point after we end uni... what am I to do without my brightly coloured headed Norweg's!

So yes... I have changed a lot. Without sounding like a twit, I can safely say that I have matured - I've found myself a job finally, I've got a van and can drive it (STILL to fit it out inside...). I live in a house, with rent and such which I need to remember to pay. Cleaning must be done by us (though don't mention it too much).
I have a style of arrrrt, and don't even mind singing in front of people, though it still scares me a bit. I go round doing voluntary work at YHA's - I seem to have got into the circuit a bit. Could name drop a few... I still do BTCV... and I hope to jump in the sea again soon!

So yeah! I have CHANGED! For the best, I say.
I am a bit hungry still. Max & Rarr have come & joined me in the living room now.
I should end this soon...
Infact...
NOW.
Good night.

71. A split open thumb

30 day challenge:

Your favourite show.

What sort of show? TV? I don't really watch THAT much TV... infact no REAL TV, just TV catch up. But over this past year on that, I have watched:
-Desperate Housewives (it's addictive! Started a few years back, can't help it!).
-Lark Rise to Candleford (how dare they cancel it! Bring back Larkrise!).
-The Tudors (thats nearly over now, I guess... since he's on his last wife, and in ill health...).
-Secret Diary of a Call Girl (read the book... and Billie Piper?).
-Downton Abbey (come on 2nd series!).
-Monarch of the Glen (yes, so it's old, but I watched it all within the past year...).


Heres some work I've been doing... I am kind of aware that if anyone who reads this has already looked at my Facebook / Flickr / Flickr e-mail header / Society 6, then you would have seen these before. But I like to put them all up all over the place :)

A couple of doodles:
And my 5 posters for my uni project on the YHA...

70. Hug a tree.

30 day challenge:
How important do you think education is?
WELL.
Rather, I'd say!
I'm soon to leave mainstream education (school, college, art college?, uni) after being in it for, what... 18 years!?! Probably a bit less, as I don't think I started reception until part way through or something... but still. 18ish years! That being the majority of my life!
Here goes a brief history of my school life, with photos of myself throughout it! Just because my external harddrive is currently attached to my laptop.

I didn't enjoy the majority of school - in the first few years I got frustrated with learning, as some people were doing it faster & better than me. (Above photo, year 1 (5-6 years old). I'm far left, middle row).
In the few years above that, I started getting more & more bullied, I never really had a good friend until mid year 3, where I became best friends with Becca Jones / Joneseo / RTD3 / Tweedle Dee. We bonded over the Victorians. See picture below. I'm the blonde.More bullying, more getting confused over maths, more just wanting to draw & paint & such. More struggling to make more than 1 proper friend (in year 4 Rose joined Becca & I).
I guess the first time I ever really thought of education more than "urgh, school?" was when we were all starting to think of what secondary school to go to.
My mum offered me the chance to go take the entrance exam to Reigate Grammer school - that place has pretty big termly fees. I turned the offer down... I didn't think I'd pass the entrance exam, at age 10/11. The second time thinking about education, was probably around the same age - still year 6, when I couldn't do algebra. My thoughts were "urrrgh! So difficult! Oh well, I'll be able to do it when I'm older". That thought sort of became my life mantra, much to my mums disgust... I think it's part true, though. You WILL know SOME things when you're older... fair enough I sort of learnt algebra in secondary school, but I've since forgotten most of it apart from the basics. But who cares? So far I haven't needed it at all. Ahh... leaving primary school. I felt so grown up. Here, have a photo of me with my new friend(s) Martha (left) and Imy (middle). Yes. I really did used to have a duck smile... I think it was cured by my goth times of not smiling so much. This was on the last day of school.
Secondary school... Warwick school. Shit hole full of chavs... was going to go to Reigate school (not the grammer, the other one) but when we were just leaving some shitter threw a strone at my mums car, so she didn't want me to go there. So I went to Warwick, with my new friend Imy.
Again, slightly tough time making friends - I kept myself to myself sometimes, just had people I'd "hang round" with. Imy tended to go off with other people. I got bullied more & more, chavs. Doing work was more for just getting it done (if it seemed important enough / if I knew the teacher would otherwise embarrass me / detention me / worse). Art was still the one good lesson, though gradually graphics became better and better, and cooking wasn't so bad either.
Boys (and girls... but that was kept on the quiet. Why give a chav more ammo...) were more interesting to study, I used to draw the backs of their heads whenever I sat behind one I liked.
My decision to become a "grunger" "goth" etc possibly didn't help me with the chav attacks, however it was good. Instead of working, I'd doodle in the backs of excersise books / soon learnt to carry a small note book, as teachers would tell you off for messing up books. I'd have totally buggered up pencil cases (see below picture of me with bright pink fluff on my head, holding a Zippy pencil case). The bag was messed up too, patches & such, but with more care.
Slowly I became more popular, with the "weird" crowd anyway. We hung out outside in the quad, on the benches around the big stone chess board floor bit. The freaks, the geeks, and the losers. Great fun! It sometimes really was! But there was still the horror of bullying, and hating classes... so grades slipped (though I was still in near top classes for everything - maths kept going up and down a class though...). I took up drum lessons, tried to get them so they were always over a class I didn't like.
I became better friends with a good little crowd at Reigate school, saw them at weekends and small gatherings when possible. They were, admittedly, more my "style", though the 2 groups seemed to merge a bit in the end via my parties & college. Below is myself & my 3 best females of the time (L>R, me, Jenny, Tanzee, Jennie) (don't ask) (it was fun).Below is a photo from right near the end of secondary school, myself (the most awkward looking one - 2nd from right) and my other female friends there. Yes, we did have boys too... this was just our girl gang. And then... from age 16... FREEDOM! I managed to get my 5 A-C GCSE grades to get into college (just).

Off to college I went! This was good for various reasons:
-It was a 10 minute walk down the road for me, rather than a 15 minute cycle ride, then a 15 minute walk.
-I didn't have to wear a uniform.
-The majority of chavs weren't clever enough to get into college.
-Any bullies left, generally left me alone now... lots more "weirdos" went to college, they came from loads of other schools about the area.
-I could get on more with the things I ENJOYED.
I failed my English GCSE, of course my mum was greatly annoyed about this... but that was ok, I got to take another year of English at college, and re-did the GCSE at the end of that year. The other classes I took were Geography (it was never THAT bad... and the field trips looked good... and I had to pick a 3rd subject). Photography - taking photos? Must be easy! And arty! Yay! And of course... Fine Art. I just wanted to do art.
College started off ok, I made lots of friends, joined up with old friends I'd had from a different school, I was still quiet though. Annoyingly so, it seemed, as when I fell behind in Photography, I didn't ask for help... I just started not turning up to classes. And then I barely turned up to English... and Geography...... and Art. Of course I still had fun, though. Lots of fun, sometimes... I think perhaps I lost being so friendly with some of my friends though because I got a chap, and a girl.
Scarily, they tried to kick me out before start of the second year - I had to beg for my place back, but to do that I had to have excellent attendance. Thankfully, I had better attendance but less friends and now took to wandering about on my own all breaktimes & lunch, trying to find someone to talk to who wasn't already stuck to their boyfriend, or in their little click of other friends.
The thing which kept me full of possible friends, was quite likely the fact that whenever my parents went away for more than 2 nights I'd throw big house parties, and they were super fun. Sometimes a little messy, but always good, and always easy enough to clear up from afterwards. The second year of college also resulted in me getting a tad depressed, partly because I'd had a miserable break up with my then boyfriend and girlfriend (a tricky business, I don't think I need to go into it, really!!). I ended up walking to the church yard at lunch & such, to talk some half arsed photos for Photography, & to prevent myself from going home (the result of which would be not going back to college after).
Have you noticed yet that none of this is really about education? More so just about me being IN education. The thought never really occured to me that some people of my age weren't, they just got jobs. I don't think I wanted to do that though - and contuining education was the easy option... I got my first job just after my 18th birthday, because my mum told me to.
Below is the start of one of the afore mentioned parties... Martha & I. Yes.Mid second college year my art tutor mentioned that I was good enough to get into Epsom art college, the two colleges had some sort of agreement going on. So when lots of other people were thinking more about going to uni, I went to art college...

Epsom art college! Hurrah!
Now, THIS was good! I'm glad I had this year, I wasn't ready to go off to uni like some other folks. I got to concentrate JUST on art - with the occasional essay here and there, but not really, and made a super duper great circle of friends. I eventually went into the Graphics class at Epsom, with my "crew" Racheyboiii ("God"), Emilarrrgh ("Pink Power Ranger"), Ninoid ("Captain Jack"), and Sophie ("Pamela") (I was Barbie). We had so much fun, even if I "had" to listen to slightly mainstream music in God's car... heh heh heh.But then... I had to start thinking about uni! That was leaving home! The real world?! I really enjoyed graphics, but I had a more free style... but not so free as Fine Art. It got suggested to me that I tried for an Illustration course. So I did.
It didn't occur to me that I should look at what reputations each place had, my thoughts were more so about was the area they were in pretty, and was it far enough away from home. I didn't choose Brighton, as it was too close to home... instead I chose:
Route A:
1. Falmouth (went to interview)
2. Bournemouth (went to interview)
3. Derby (this was my back up plan.....) (went to interview)
Route B:
1. Edinburgh (didn't need to go to interview, because...)
2. Portsmouth (see below...)
I GOT INTO FALMOUTH! Only once I had applied, and got accepted for INTERVIEW did I find out that it was the illustration course with the best reputation in Britain. I took big mucho pride in that, when I was accepted :P
So... off to uni I trotted.

Hellooooo university.
Had automatic friends with Silje (I spoke to her all summer via MSN & Facebook) and then also with Vera. I didn't really "hang out" with that many other folks, it's always sort of been just us 3. Just how it is, really. Norwegian sandwich with a British filling (sorry, it's not vegetarian). Here is the sandwich in first year, with icecream. I'm the topping, though... with brown hair. First year was a bit crap, I didn't know what direction to go in, my work turned out shoddily, and I worried that I was on the wrong course for a fair long while and thought that perhaps I should go onto Graphics. Thankfully I didn't fail, at all, only referral I got at the end of the year was in life drawing due to attendance. But thats fine, I got the work done super speedy.
Third year happened, I noticed a good improvement in my work, though kept myself even more to myself & my Norwegian bread slices except for my joining of a sea shanty group.
Essays happened... yes... but I never took them too seriously. I find essays tricky. And why? Well, at the end of 2nd year I found out I was dyslexic! Which is great, as it explains a few things (and of course gets me free stuff ^^).
So is this really education? Yes, of course it is! Is it education in THE ARTS! A VERY important part of the world, thank you... without it, we'd live in a far uglier place (thankfully it'll never be totally ugly, so long as we have nature).
Third year, thats now. I've had to do one essay - my dissertation. That was difficult, but I did it. I HOPE it has not failed... it may quite likely have got a bad mark though. But you know what? I don't really mind. So long as my portfolio comes out well, and I continue in life doing what I want to do, I don't mind. I've got through university, and thats more than many people in the UK can say... and then SOOOO many people in the world don't even have the chance to get that far in education! They don't have the funds nor anything else! So, I'm happy that I've had it - still got it!

I don't reckon I'll ever go on to do anything like a masters degree, thats my current opinion anyway. It sounds like it entails much essay writing - something I am not strong on. Let me write a fictional story, sure, but not a factual essay which requires shedloads of research.
I hope that one day I can earn decent money for my art, but I shan't hope too high just yet... we'll see how things go.
I'll sort of miss being in education, I suppose I've become accustomed to the structure of it all - especially now that it's all to do with something I ENJOY...

So... do I think education is important?
YES! Indeed! You have to go through years of shit to get to what you want to do, but I think that perhaps it is for the best - when we're 6 years old we really don't know that we want to go into art for the rest of our lives... and you really do learn some valuable skills in the rest of your lessons (even though you forget the majority of stuff you learn, perhaps it is the best most important bits which stick. This includes knowing that there is a religious group out there called the Amish, not the ARMish.
Not everyone is priveleged enough to be able to afford to go to school, let alone do anything else they would like to do rather than HAVE to do.

Anyway, thats the end of that part of the 30 day thing... next bit will appear at some point...

Heres some images by other folk...Scruffy but good looking goodness by Elizabeth Bishop.A more graphic sort of scenery by Sea Hyun Lee.A funky chicken by Melanie Mikecz... and FINALLY...An AMAZEEENG little (well...) pink house, by the ever wonderful Nina Cosford! Oh...And a rug by Loom Rugs...And a couple of gawwwwjus stills from this little mooovie.

Have a little look at THESE funky hotel rooms!